Analizing dat ass.
Whats your relationship with Hipster Garrus, I heard he was way cooler than you?

You cannot possibly mean this guy. That guy is not cool.
Joke understood.
He keeps trying to give my interface nebula related backgrounds and often tries to share images that represent sadness or depression or loneliness.
He spends more time calibrating his ipod than banging Shepard.
That gets him lots of uncool points in our opinion. 

*moves closer* I don't know about him, but I'm always up for a hands-on lesson. And what was that about asking to be bitten...?

How can we refuse?
After all knowdledge is important. All you have to do is say the word and we will show you.
But first let us take you away from curious eyes.
That means you EDI.

((and then they banged off screen.. .. okno)) 

I always wondering - how do the geth mate?

Would you like to come closer and let us show you?
[Legion moves the plates around his optic trying to mimic the eyewiggling again] 

(Sorry if I sent this twice, in regards to your message about Tumblr eating your messages.) Is it true that there exists buff Geth? I swear I saw some not too long ago.

Yes, there are indeed some “buff” Geth as you call them.
But it doesn’t really come from working out but rather being built that way first.
This unit does not need it.
We are already a sexy beast in this form.

Message from Legion’s Slave: I actually got both! But I’m answering this one just to let you guys know that this actually happens cries
So please don’t hate me if I don’t answer your questions. … .. 

I think you got mad swag. [[and I love you for it]]

Who does not.
It is a fact.
We were created with all this swag.
We are the beast.
Come over here.
Let this unit give you some lovin’ too.

I dare you to run in the girl's shower room while they're all in there and shout: "GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY LOOK AT ALL THE ASSES!"

You are saying this as if we have not done this before.
[legion moves the metal around his optic light ressembling an “eyebrow wiggling”]  
We had made a bet saying this unit would not dare.
We won all the crew’s hidden porn.
That was a very sad day for Garrus.

So is it safe to assume that Javik and Thane are your 'bros'? Do they usually join you in search of sweet ladies?

We are “bros” as you say.
We get all the ladies.
But of course this unit gets more.
Sometimes we have to deny our bros request of joining them in the partying because we do not wish to steal all the ladies from them.
They need a chance.
And we are far too generous.
They really need to get laid.
Especially Javik.

Are small asses okay too? 'Cause they'd better be. *brandishes mop*

Of course baby.
We love all the asses.
All of them.
When this unit dies we hope to go to ass heaven.

tell us, oh mighty ass assessor, wha is your appraisal of Miranda's behind?

Do we even need to explain.
Hothothotatarararahothorarara— [more beeping noise]
We give it 10 out of 10.
Her clothes do not really leave much to imagination though.
And they are really tight.
Woman do your perfect genetics come with really REALLY skin tight suit?
It leaves nothing for the surprise effect when you finally… analize it.
So we shall leave it to 9/10.
[the machine does more beeping noises and nods] 

Do you work out, or are you just naturally this seductive?

Le gasp. [aka beeping noise that doesn’t ressemble a gasp at all]
We are shocked that you even ask us this.
Gurl this is all natural mhmmmm.
This unit was sculpted by the creator gods mere hands.
Our purpose in life is to look gorgeous and analize all types of asses.
Also to study organic life.
Yeah we forgot that part.
But baby.
We were created this way.

((gets shot))